Bucktown State of Mind

8 Days Clean… of Nicotine

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I’ve given up smoking cigarettes AGAIN, to be a 100% honest as I write this blog I’m cranky and I want one right DAMN now!  This is the third time I’ve quit in the past three years. After my boyfriend’s Aunt passed from lung cancer in September 2006, I felt obligated to stop out of shear respect for what I saw her physically go through in the last weeks of her life. It scared the shit out of me and one day after the funeral  I stopped cold turkey. I was  cigarette free for fourteen months, and very proud of myself. I felt as if I had conquered a damn near twenty-year addition to nicotine and I became cocky. I figured I could smoke one or two here and there and not get hooked again. WRONG, I was smoking more than ever, it was almost as if my body was making up for the past year.

I’ve been smoking since high school.  I went to Fashion Industries H.S. in NYC, back then I wasn’t REALLY smoking per say, cigarettes were more like an accessory. The first pack I purchased were Yves Saint Laurent (solely for the name), followed by Capri, a new brand at the time, which now as I look back I’m pretty sure was marketed to teen girls. Anyway  back then I thought smoking looked cool, and because I was always trying to find a way to look older I went with it.  Now twenty-something years later  as I look at teenagers smoking  I realize it DIDN’T make me look cool or older.

I want to stop smoking for good so I outed myself via various online outlets so I would feel like the world is watching if I fucked up this time. I’m writing this blog to document an honest account of my journey to stop smoking cold turkey, a public journal of sorts about The End of A Love Affair. 8 Days Clean  of Nicotine.


3 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Hi Cynical,
    It was quite a journey reading your post! Very true and thought provoking…
    Any addiction is hard to beat, above all those that have been part of our life for such a long time. It is a very personal itinerary where it is often possible to find obstacles and end up in that labyrinth you describe so well, where we think it is easy to find the exit… getting ever “more” lost!
    But you are sharing your experience and sharing is the first step towards a successful outcome… The piece you wrote here is inspiring because it is real!
    You my full support! Well done so far!

  2. rzanumba1

    Love this. I remember when my grandparents used to smoke like chimneys. They tried quitting twice but went right back to smoking, but the third time was the charm and they haven’t smoked in 15 years now. What im getting at is that just because you went back to them before doesnt mean you will this time. My grandparents said that they just kept pushing through the grouchy angry days of craving the cigs and now they dont even care about them. We support you! Glad you’ve decided to quit…you’ve got a healthier life ahead of you now :).

  3. The Great LG

    Stay strong cuzzo! You’re an inspiration! I know I need to. I just haven’t made up my mind yet, but its on my mind daily, so I know the time is near. My Grandmother quit cold turkey after 40+ years of smoking, so I know that when I decide to, I will. The will power is in me genetically! Its all mind over matter. Im proud of you fam!

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