So it's been awhile since I've posted about my progression with the non-smoking thing. Mainly because I've been hectic with the production and release of my new project "General Steele Presents: Amerikkka's Nightmare Part 2: Children of War", but partially because I guess I'm a little embarrassed. I was clean for three months and after one hella stressful day, I'm back on the wagon. Not proud about it, but I realize that as much as I hate smoking cigarettes there's a part of me that enjoys it. That doesn't mean I not going to continue to contend with my addiction, but I'm not going to beat myself. I'm going to just take it one day at a time. My theme music is J. Dilla's "Workinonit."
Just a brief update... at midnight I will be 28 days clean. I can't wait until I can say this is my 28th week or even better my 28th month clean, but I'm speeding. What I can say is today is the first day that I didn't think about having a cigarette with my coffee, which btw I'm not supposed to be drinking anymore! I swear this getting healthy shit is killing me. Anyway I started taking a detox tea last week which I have to drink for 30 days first thing in the morning before I put anything in my stomach. That should help with the cravings. Right now I'm going to the store to deal with my sweet tooth cravings. Since I stopped smoking I want all sorts of sweet stuff.. cake, ice cream, flan... ok that's it! GOOD NIGHT folks I'm out.
21 days clean of nicotine. So here's the truth and nothing but the truth. I'm not as cranky as I was at eight days, but I still want a Newport when I wake up with my coffee. I still want a cigarette when I'm trying to figure some technical shit out. And to be a 100% honest, if I didn't out myself publicly via my blog, Facebook, Beatminerz Radio and Twitter I probably would have bummed or bought a loosey a few days ago, but I stay STRONG! (STRONG I SAY!) Although this is my third attempt to quit, I can't remember how long it takes before the cravings officially go away. It seems that this go round is harder chemically but easier mentally. I say that because I draw my strength and inspiration from my 14 year old baby cousin Andre in Texas, who was diagnosed with brain cancer this summer. After six weeks of intense chemotherapy he is cancer free, and his doctor said it is as if the tumor never existed. Andre has handled his entire experience like a natural warrior... fearlessly. One, he never questioned why this was happening to him and two he never doubted that he ...
I've given up smoking cigarettes AGAIN, to be a 100% honest as I write this blog I'm cranky and I want one right DAMN now! This is the third time I've quit in the past three years. After my boyfriend's Aunt passed from lung cancer in September 2006, I felt obligated to stop out of shear respect for what I saw her physically go through in the last weeks of her life. It scared the shit out of me and one day after the funeral I stopped cold turkey. I was cigarette free for fourteen months, and very proud of myself. I felt as if I had conquered a damn near twenty-year addition to nicotine and I became cocky. I figured I could smoke one or two here and there and not get hooked again. WRONG, I was smoking more than ever, it was almost as if my body was making up for the past year. I've been smoking since high school. I went to Fashion Industries H.S. in NYC, back then I wasn't REALLY smoking per say, cigarettes were more like an accessory. The first pack I purchased were Yves Saint Laurent (solely for the name), followed by Capri, a new brand ...
Tags: Abdullah H. Abdur Rassaq, Audubon Ballroom, El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, Harlem NY, Herman Ferguson, James Shabazz, Khalil Islam, Malcolm X, OAAU, Thomas 15X Johnson
Khalil Islam: The Man Who DID NOT Kill Malcolm X Trailer from Bucktown USA on Vimeo. Mr. Khalil Islam spent 22 years in prison for the murder of Malcolm X. Now 44 years later, Mr. Islam is on a quest to prove his innocence and be exonerated for killing one of the most prolific leaders of the 20th Century.
My first blog on the new site, I'm so excited! First I would like to Thank everybody who help to make this entire project possible. Innovation Nation, Methods NYC Clothing & Fubz, SMT Studios, the artist and producers. Secondly I want to say stay logged on in 2009 cause it's going to be crazy. Happy Holidays! One Love, Cynical